honestly, i cant take anything anymore.

just, too much pressure on everything and everyone expects me to handle everything like im not at my last points. im breaking down, i wish i could explode but i have to keep it together for other people's convinience because if i dont, people will blame me for wanting to have a breather and have time to process whatever emotion im having.

cuz i supressed them for so long, i became mostly numb. i began to laugh whenever im breaking down cuz i have no choice and besides, i have to cuz ppl hate it when i express any negative emotion. cuz hey, everything is my fault, its my fault i caused your day to be fucked, its my fault that i got abused, its my fault that im su*c*dal, its my fault that im exsisting and simply born. i wish i could just make a clone of myself, so i could make my clone study for the exams meanwhile i could take care of the school animation project and still get said knowledge into my brain. ugh, how hard is it to invent a clone machine and adjust it so that my clone actually loves and has the energy to study and shit.